A few weeks before I moved to Korea, I was high-octane everything--work, stress, emotions, food, workouts, weekly panic attacks, muscle-tension, drinks--everything but sleep. And everything was to overcompensate for something else. At the time, the only good thing I had left from my workplace was the insurance (not shockingly, since corporate work = corporate health benefits), which was covering weekly massage therapy appointments to undo the done. They were probably the only things that were getting me by.
I remember very clearly the last girl I had because although I really liked her, she'd kept talking when I wanted to fall into a relaxation coma. I knew it would be the last for a long while.
"Oh, I LOVED Seoul. It's so amazing. So SO so so amazing. I'm so super jealous."
"Yeah, I'm not moving to Seoul, but I've heard nothing but good things. What was your favorite thing?"
"Oh my God, you have to try the jimjilbangs!"
"The what-what-bangs?"
"OMG, it's like this bathhouse/sauna thing. Like seriously 10bucks. Everyone showers and gets massage AND this woman scrubs your dead skin off your whole body. AND you can sleep there. Super cheap. I went like everyday!"
"Yeah, I'll have to try that."
Two planes, three buses, luggage transfers, thick air, no sleep, and a non-stop emotional rollercoaster, a rock solid bed, complete with neck-pain-inducing pillow, I was desperate for a massage; but, I didn't seek one out.
I'm going to say it: I'm just not one of those naked people--you know, those that walk around locker rooms and steam rooms with ease and eloquence, and total disregard for who's watching. And I'm envious. I was mostly raised in a house with a single, Chinese, 22 year-old father--no one should be surprised if I bathed in a swimsuit until I was ten. In addition, I was missing everything I was accustomed to eating; no honeycrisps, no good grapes, no avocado. Just watermelon. However, there's just something about seedy fruit I can't really crush on. So, instead I just went to sleep. For months.
When I finally woke up wanting to explore Korea, I started seeing the jimjilbang on all the Korean "must do" lists. I starting thinking I had to, my body hurt. Plus, a massage and "skin scraping" = extra healthy skin and muscles for like $10? It was at least worth a try. And moving to Korea had to be partially about overcoming my demons, right?
So I asked around the office. There's no Metromix for Gwangju; I can't simply look it up online, find one with a good price, and good user-reviews, and then go to the address located neatly under the photos for my convenience. One of my co-teachers told me to ask Youngju--a.k.a Big Mama--"She's a weekly bather." So, with some gusto and pre-worked-up blushing, I asked her after class one day, worried she would want to take me, not point me in the right direction.
"Could you recommend a good jimjilbang around campus? Some teachers told me that you go often, and while I know you could suggest the one you normally go to, I'd rather you help me find one near campus so I can go whenever." I even tried to tell her I didn't want to "inconvenience her", in hopes that I could do this alone.
"Oh, yes. You like bathhouse? Thel arh many. I show you."
"Ok, thank you! Actually, I've never been. I do want to try."
"OH! Firsta time? Ok ok."
The next week, she stayed after class. I had somewhat forgotten I'd asked her about it. Thought she had too, until she came over and said, "Saturday good? I take you to my place. Pick you up."
Immediately my face turned red. she wants to go together! Great. We picked a time, and two seconds later thoughts of how to get myself out of it rushed in. I could swear hives started to break out.
Panicking slightly, right up until the time I'd be late if I didn't leave, I shook my head repeating must get over this shit, must get over this shit. you have skydived, and bungee jumped. Surely you can do THIS.
I met her at school after her Saturday classes finished. "Hi. Thanks so much for inviting me."
"Ok, ok. Let's go."
"I have a dinner thing at 6pm. Is that ok?"
"Ok, ok. Let's go."
Upon walking the two flights of stairs to the women's section of the place, I could smell the steam, and hear the women's chatter getting louder and louder. The locker room was like I expected--benches, lockers, blow-dryers, and vanity counters with combs, Q-tips, and towels. Only the amenities in this place were better than flying business class: cups for cupping (Asian Therapy), a refrigerator full of complimentary juice and water, large mugs of iced coffee, slippers, a rack of clothing for purchase, and a padded "TV area" that made me feel as comfortable as the "reading corner" in kindergarten. I think I was most impressed by the fact that the lockers had locks on them--none of this "bring your own" bullshit. I timidly undressed, while all the chatting ajummas sat on the benches, doing their locker-room-talk. Wrapped in two mini-towels, I followed Youngju into the bathing-room where she handed me a toothbrush, wash cloth, and towel, then took my locker key and put it in her basket.
Over the next two hours, I was scraped, massaged, and bathed among a dozen Korean women; two of which had brought their daughters, both under the age of 5. Everyone lounged comfortably, moved slowly, caring for their bodies, and un-clenching their minds amidst steamy water and soapy water-cloths. A few were using the cups on one another--an ancient method for promoting blood flow and healing. We moved from the hot bath to the cold bath, and talked about our hopes and dreams. Literally.
All things I find so lacking in the U.S. I am an avid user of gyms and wellness centers and although the idea is promoting healthy bodies, mostly everyone is in a hurried "get in and out" mentality, or on their cardio machines with an individual TV, listening to their ipods intently, or foraging the room for the new US Weekly. Sometimes all of the above. I've been guilty of this myself.
In fact, very guilty. Before I left Chicago for Korea, I had quit smoking completely, was running at least 7 miles a day or seeing a trainer 6, sometimes 7 days per week, doing yoga and pilates too; I was surrounded by loved ones and had access to all the foods I wanted; yet, looking back, I think it was still the unhealthiest I have ever felt.
As I told her these things, she sat contemplatively. She didn't ask why I wasn't married, why I moved so far from my loved ones, nor what I was going to do in the future. She just squinted and smiled. "When I stress, I come hee. I work to 10pm. And Sadahdays. I come hee."
"Yeah, I think Korea's on to something. Thank you for sharing with me." I smiled back.
"What iseh deh hardest ding about being in Kohea?"
"Well, of course I miss my friends and family. And many other small things. I love Korean food, but everyday is a bit much. I've definitely gotten used to it though."
"Oh, yes. I can imagine. Afteh dis, you come to my house for watahmelon."
"Actually, I don't really... Ok. I come to your house for watermelon."
http://www.seoulstyle.com/art_naked.htm
http://www.naturaltherapypages.com.au/natural_medicine/Cupping
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/05/world/asia/05korea.html?pagewanted=2
http://killerstress.stanford.edu/
http://www.lesstress.net/diseases-caused-by-stress.htm
